FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE I’ll do WHATEVER YOU WANT!
You want to be fed? Again? Aren’t we trying to stick to a routine (HA!)? Oh fuck it. Fiiiiiiine, I’ll feed you again.
You’re awake? It’s 9.30pm! You only went to sleep two hours ago? You WILL NOT be resettled? You WILL ONLY ACCEPT BRIBES THAT INCLUDE BOOBS? Fiiiiiiiine, I’ll feed you again.
You don’t want to lie down and play with your toys? You don’t want to be read a book? You don’t want to touch your crinkly wrinkly toy? Fiiiiine I’ll hold you. Oh you’re not happy with just being held? What’s that? I need to dance? Fiiiiine! FASTER? Fiiiiiiiiine! Not facing inwards (what am I an idiot????), facing outwards!! Fiiiiine.
Totally nailing parenting today.